“Just a Cup of Coffee”


I went on another date tonight for “just a cup of coffee.” I’ll confess that I’ve been on more dates this year than any other year of my life. My love life or rather lack there of, has given me more stories to tell than ever before. This coming January will be my 3rd year anniversary of being single. And I have to say…it’s been the most liberating years of my existence. I lose myself, I find myself, and then I start the process all over again. I have gotten to know me, not just in my own time, but also especially during my interactions with strangers over “just a cup of coffee.”

A non-committal cup of coffee with a stranger or acquaintance can be a gateway into self-actualization. This gateway only opens up if you walk into these situations with an open mind and drop all biases at the door. Sure, a cup of coffee is nothing. Sometimes it really is just that…nothing. The whole meeting and the conversation you may share may have nothing of substance or value to you. But other times, in many instances…it is almost always something if you let it be. What I mean by “something” does not entail a guaranteed future relationship or anything of the sort. Something may be as simple as learning what you like and dislike. It may be coming to terms with what you can put up with and what you want to stay around for. That something can be such a minuscule detail of your current existence and the person you are. I’ve been on more than a dozen dates this year all resulting in nothing definite or even long lasting for that matter. However, in each meeting and encounter with someone new, I’ve learned something about myself. This is kind of a big deal y’all. I have come a long way from my days in dark isolation. I feel like a phoenix risen from the ashes of my former self. I still have trust issues, commitment issues, and problems connecting with people from time to time. But overall, I’ve finally allowed myself to open up and let people in again.

A lesson is to be learned from every encounter, every conversation, and every moment no matter how small or insignificant. Allow yourself to be taught, and you shall learn. Give yourself the time and space to discover who you are and what you really want.  It’s a cyclical process that often ends and begins again. I am finally appreciating the world around me and in doing so I am experiencing a continual sense of wonder and awe. I hope this inspires everyone to do the same. Open up your doors, drown out your doubts, and become the best version of yourself. The risks are great, but the rewards are greater. Once you do, you’ll come to realize that even the simplest of experiences, like a cup of coffee, can be your source to inspiration and pleasure.

I’ll end this post with a quote I strive to live by:

“If you are brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting (which can be anything from your house to your bitter old resentments) and set out on a truth-seeking journey (either externally or internally), and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue, and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher, and if you are prepared – most of all – to face (and forgive) some very difficult realities about yourself… then truth will not be withheld from you.” Or so I’ve come to believe.”

― Elizabeth GilbertEat, Pray, Love


Ta-Ta for now my loves!


2 thoughts on ““Just a Cup of Coffee”

  1. Home sick and came across your blog. And I love it! Keep writing, your words are inspiring to those of us still struggling to stay positive after dozens of coffee dates that (don’t appear) to bring us any closer to what we’re looking for. So I appreciate your graceful reminder that each one is a learning experience. Thank you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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